In A Perfect World
by EagleEye14
Summary: In a perfect world, Matt Donovan wouldn't have to dream. In a perfect world, Matt Donovan would be able to love the person he wants so desperately.
1. Chapter 1

Matt Donovan has a dream, every night, like clockwork, never changing and always playing out the same scenario. A dream where, one day, when he is old and gray, when he has lived his life fully, he will be sitting on his porch in Mystic Falls. Next to him will be the man he has dreamed about for the last several years, Jeremy Gilbert.

Matt Donovan can't tell you when he found himself in love with his ex-girlfriend's younger brother. It might have started long before he and Elena began their doomed-from-the-start relationship. While Matt and Elena were best friends, Jeremy always somehow ended up embedded in almost anything they went out to do. Most of Matt's memories had a piece of Jeremy in them, and looking back, maybe he had been in love with him for a very long time.

When he was ten, he can remember the play wedding in the Forbe's backyard. He and Elena stood in front of Bonnie and declared themselves soul mates. While standing next the girl who played a major part in his life, a stray thought had been in his mind. Elena was cool and all, but she didn't like playing baseball or catch with a football. Jeremy did though, and he always made him laugh, and if he had to marry someone, wouldn't it be better to marry someone like that?

Matt also remembers thinking, at the innocent age of ten, that two men together were gross, at least that's what one of the men his mom brought over for dinner once said. And Matt didn't want to be gross.

At 14, Matt can remember when going to the Gilbert house stopped being trips to see Elena, and became trips to see Elena and Jeremy. Looking back, he can't remember when it became Jeremy and Elena, but he knows that on some level there is some significance to Elena coming second, as if an afterthought.

When he was 16, and a little more liberal thinking, Matt entertains the notion of what it would be like to be with another guy. Tyler had introduced him to the world of images the computer has to offer, and Elena is a only a virgin in the technical sense, thanks to him, so he isn't as innocent as the town would like to think. And one day, after listening to Vicki rant about how the boy she loves ( and Vicki is really open to love at this age, and it would appear her legs are attached to her heart) being gay, and how it isn't fair, Matt wonders if he had to be with another guy, who would it be? He imagines Tyler, but the rolling in his stomach tells him the answer to that thought.

Jeremy, on the other hand, doesn't elicit the same reaction. Nausea doesn't spring forth, but the tightening he usually feels in his pants when making out in the Gilbert Camaro doesn't come either. Instead, for a brief moment, Matt thinks about Jeremy: his laugh, his smile, the way his blush starts at his ears and spreads across his face until it meets at his nose. Matt feels warmth when he thinks about Jeremy. He feels it in his stomach, in his face, but most of all, he feels it in his chest.

When Matt Donovan is 18, with a failed relationship, an out of control sister, and a mother who would rather wrap he legs around a man she barely knows instead of her arms around her children, he knows, with certainty, that he loves Jeremy Gilbert.

He knows because when he encounters Elena he feels a sting in his heart. A sting not for their break-up, but what it has cost him. He no longer could be around Jeremy without outing himself, to help him overcome the shitty hand that life dealt the poor man. And, as he watches Jeremy fall into a downward spiral, a piece of him dies. When he learns that Vicki opened her heart to him, a bigger piece dies.

In a perfect world, Matt would be able to heal Jeremy.

In a perfect world, instead of using his imagination, he would know, with certainty, what Jeremy's lips feel like. He would know what it would feel like to wake up with him, what his skin would feel like against Jeremy's. He would know what it would be like to love him, fully and completely.

In a perfect world, Tyler Lockwood wouldn't look at Jeremy with want when the later wasn't looking.

In a perfect world, Damon Salvatore wouldn't always be touching Jeremy.

In a perfect world, Matt wouldn't recognize the same look on Stefan's face that he has seen in the mirror for so long.

In a perfect world, Matt Donovan wouldn't dream, because it would be a reality. He would spend his life with Jeremy, and one day would leave this world with him too, because even in death they couldn't be apart.

~(*)~(*)~(*)~

But Matt Donovan knows he doesn't live in a perfect world.

Matt Donovan isn't rich like Tyler Lockwood. No matter how hard he wishes, he will never be able to draw a response from Jeremy like Tyler can. While they may be exchanges fueled by hate, at least they are exchanges.

His body, while sculpted from hours spent trying to achieve his goal of being the perfect football player, is no where near as beautiful as the mysterious Salvatore brothers' perfect pale physiques. Matt Donovan has the face of the All-American boy, which holds a certain charm, but cannot compete with the faces of the men who have so quickly taken so much from him.

At the end of the day, in the imperfect world that he lives in, Matt Donovan will go home to his empty house. He will swallow the feelings he has for the younger Gilbert. He will date the blonde cheerleader who doesn't know when to be quiet, and maybe he will eventually come to love her, and that will be just enough for him to go on.

But make no mistake, Matt Donovan will never forget Jeremy Gilbert and the future that he dreamed of sharing with him.

~(*)~(*)~(*)~

Maybe there is a God. Maybe Karma reigns supreme. Maybe fate and destiny had a plan because Matt Donovan doesn't know everything.

He doesn't know that Jeremy has the same dream.

He doesn't know that Jeremy misses him too.

He doesn't know that Jeremy loves him with everything.

After all, good things come to those who wait, and Matt Donovan is a very patient person.

In the end, he doesn't know that one day Jeremy Gilbert will show him that maybe a perfect world can exist, at least in their embrace, in their kiss, in their love.


	2. Chapter 2

**In A Perfect World: Chapter Two**

Jeremy dreams every night of a boy with blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes. He dreams of a smile warmer than the sun, of a laugh full of life.

He has dreamed about Matt Donovan since he was a boy. Memories of days spent playing baseball and fake weddings elicit a full spectrum of emotions from Jeremy. Memories of watching the boy he loves with his very own sister elicit the same spectrum (whenever he sees that damn Camarro he has to fight the urge to burn it).

His darkest secret is that his idea of a perfect world is one shared with Matt Donovan.

He knows is gay, he has for awhile, despite whatever he had with Vicki. And he knew that men responded to him.

Deep down he knows that most of the men in his life are somehow attracted to him.

He knows Tyler Lockwood has a crush on him. He knows by the way Tyler looks at him. The way he hangs off of every word, whether it be an insult or just a normal conversation, that comes from Jeremy's mouth. But all he can offer the temperamental young man is friendship.

Because when he dreams, in his perfect world, Jeremy doesn't imagine the volatile exchanges he has with Tyler. He doesn't dream of a forever with Tyler Lockwood.

Instead, he dreams of Matt's and his laughter mixing together, creating their own unique soundtrack to life. He dreams of late night conversations. He dreams of spending a normal, supernatural free life with Matt.

He knows Damon Salvatore touches him more than necessary. Damon always finds a way to touch him, and at times it is exciting. But all he can offer the psychotic vampire are looks filled with understanding and a silent warning to watch himself.

Because when he dreams, in his perfect world, Jeremy doesn't imagine Damon's touches, which are filled with a current of dark lust. '

Instead, he dreams of waking up in Matt's arms, wrapped tightly around him, filled with a silent promise of forever. He dreams of golden hair and blue eyes. He dreams of sun-darkened skin, because Matt is his sun.

He knows Stefan Salvatore loves his sister, and he also knows a part of the man's heart beats for him. But all he can offer the gentle vampire is sympathy.

Because when he dreams, in his perfect world, Jeremy doesn't imagine kissing Stefan's lips.

Instead, he dreams of his lips meeting Matt's, fitting perfectly together because that's where they were made to be. He dreams of kisses broken by laughter and moans, by whispered declarations of love and a life together.

~(*)~(*)~(*)~(*)~(*)~

The thing about Jeremy though, is when he dreams, he tends to sleep talk. And when you're curled up with your secret desire's sister, because being close to her is like being close to him, it's a little hard to explain confessing your hidden love for her brother.

~(*)~(*)~(*)~(*)~(*)~

Matt Donovan's perfect world started to come together the day his sister's heart was broken.

Vicki, had rushed through the door, right passed the stack of bills on the table that Matt had been going through for hours, and went straight to her room, slamming the door. Matt brushed it off, long ago giving up trying to understand his sister's antics. Prepping himself to immerse himself into the bills once again, his sister's next sentence erased any inclination for the bills.

"Jeremy Gilbert is friggen' queer," Vicki screamed into her phone.

Matt perked up and rose from his seat, quietly situating himself outside of Vicki's door.

"He said a dude's name while we were in bed together," Vicki screeched.

Matt's perkiness immediately vanished, Tyler, Damon and Stefan running through his mind. Just as he was about to return to the bills, and his lonely life, Vicki's next sentence caused him to freeze.

"He said my brother's name," Vicki wailed.

Stuck for a moment, Matt couldn't believe what he was hearing. He didn't want to buy into it only to find out it was some misunderstanding, he couldn't take it. Not waiting, he barged in Vicki's room and demanded she tell him what happened. Thinking her brother was going to kick her ex-boyfriend's ass, she didn't spare a single detail.

They were curled up, Jeremy was distant. He had fallen asleep, she said. He muttered in his sleep, sometimes said full sentences. She was getting ready to fall asleep when a whispered sentence caused her to freak out.

'I love you Matt' is what he had said, according to Vicki.

Matt had almost cried right then and there. He asked if she was sure, if that is what he meant.

Vicki nodded, confused by her brother's reaction, or lack thereof. He tried to explain, she said. But he ultimately admitted he was in love with her brother.

Right after he processed what she said, he was out the door, running to the Gilbert house as fast as legs could carry him.

Flying up the porch, he used his fists to beckon someone to answer the door. At first his knocking was light, but as he became impatient he resorted to hitting the door with force. Jeremy flung the door open, then shrunk back when he saw who it was.

"I suppose you're here to kick my ass," Jeremy said sullenly.

"Is it true," Matt asked, knowing the boy's answer could break him, his eye's searching for the truth in Jeremy's brown pools.

Jeremy hesitated at first, but nodded. The world brightened, his senses came alive. Matt felt like the world was his. Reaching for Jeremy, he did something that surprised the both of them: he joined their lips together.

The kiss was soft and sweet. Matt marveled at how well their lips fit together. And marveled at how amazing it was to be this close to Jeremy.

Yeah, karma or God or whoever smiled down at Matt that day. Because that day was the first day that his perfect world came together.

**AN: Glad to finally update this. Been working on all stories, even started a few new ones. Reviews are awesome! More to come! Should I go right from this point or jump into the future?**


	3. Chapter 3

**In a Perfect World: Chapter Three**

Sun filtered into the room, casting a warm glow across two figures curled up under a thin sheet draped across a relatively small bed. The men were pressed against one another, their love for one another evident even in sleep.

One, a muscled blonde, had his arms tightly secured around the waist of another young man, one with a lither frame and shaggy brown hair, almost as if shielding him from the world.. The blonde stirred in his slip, his arms tightening even more, causing his bed partner to slowly awaken.

The blonde, now fully awake, placed a feathered kiss on his boyfriend's cheek and lightly trailed kisses down his face until he found himself in the crook of his boyfriend's neck. Nibbling at the tender skin, he delivered his good morning.

"You're a cover hog, you know," Matt whispered in the crook of Jeremy's neck.

Smiling, Jeremy turned in Matt's arms and placed a light kiss on his lips.

"You move around a lot in your sleep," Jeremy retorted.

"Oh yeah, you talk in your sleep, not that I'm complaining," Matt said, snuggling deeper into the bed.

"And why aren't you complaining mister," Jeremy said, mirroring his boyfriend's actions.

"Well when your boyfriend is moaning and saying things like: 'Yeah Matt' or 'God, you're so good Matt,' you know you're doing something right," Matt replied cheekily.

"You're such an idiot," Jeremy said in jest.

He tried to rise from the bed, but Matt reached up and pulled him back to bed.

"You don't have to leave just yet," Matt said, his voice still groggy.

"This is the third night this week that I haven't come home. Jenna says if I'm not in my bed when she wakes up one more time, I have to bring my new girlfriend around," Jeremy said, breaking free from Matt's hold.

Jeremy moved around Matt's room, looking for his clothes from last night. Matt sighed and removed himself from his bed. Jeremy couldn't help but stop and stare, admiring the definition of his lover's body. Noticing his audience, Matt smirked and walked over to Jeremy.

"How about you stay for breakfast. We can talk things over," Matt said, placing a chaste kiss on Jeremy's lips.

Jeremy hesitated for a bit. Matt laughed and said he might as well give up, he was going to stay anyway.

"When do you get so arrogant," Jeremy asked.

"About the same time we started dating," Matt said, pulling Jeremy closer, edging towards the bed.

"Ah now I get it. Have to compensate for the dramatic scene you put on," Jeremy said.

Matt growled before responding, "I didn't realize declaring my love for you was dramatic. Besides, that was like a month ago. Time to move on."

"Is that right," Jeremy asked.

"Yes, that's right. You hurt my feelings. I think you're going to make it up to me," Matt said, flopping back down on to the bed, pulling Jeremy with him

"I'm going to make it up to you, huh? You're awfully cocky," Jeremy managed to laugh out as Matt resumed nibbling on his neck.

Matt broke away for a moment. He reached up and grabbed Jeremy's hand, guiding it south. Jeremy let out a moan. Taking his chance, Matt flipped Jeremy onto his back and laid down directly on topic of him.

"Emphasis on the cocky," Matt said, punctuating his sentence with a roll of his hips.

Needless to say, breakfast turned into lunch.

~(*)~(*)~(*)~(*)~(*)~(*)~

Matt and Jeremy had been dating for a month. Though never truly spoken, they became boyfriends the second Matt's lips touched Jeremy's. Shyly, they both explained their feelings to each other. Shocked that they were reciprocated, they had been inseparable ever since.

Things had fallen into a natural rhythm. They had mutually decided they would wait until everyone knew that they were together before they went out on an actual date. Their agreement did little to deter the two boys from having sleepover though (they lasted a week).

What they discovered, much to Matt's delight, was that when they slept in the same bed, when they were touching, they dreamed the same dreams.

Dreams of a future together. A normal home, a porch swing to sit on while their children laughed around them. Aging together, always together being the common theme.

They were in love, deep love. They exchanged 'I love you' in the middle of their very first "sleepover," and spent the rest of the night dreaming about it.

Only two people knew about them: Vicki and Tyler. Both had been upset, both for the same reason.

~(*)~(*)~(*)~(*)~(*)~(*)~

Vicki had surprisingly been more supportive than first expected.

After talking for hours that first night, Matt had left Jeremy, with a kiss, to go home and see just how much damage Vicki had managed to accomplish.

Walking into the small house, he headed towards the kitchen, surprised to see Vicki waiting up, an uncharacteristic soft look on her face.

"You know, I thought you left to kick his ass," she began, "And I thought, 'damn, my big brother rocks.' And when I called the Gilbert house, pretending to look for Jeremy, but really checking to see that you hadn't committed a crime, I was surprised to hear from Elena that not only were you still there, but you were in Jeremy's room."

"Vicki," Matt started, but was cut off as Vicki smiled and shook her head.

"It all clicked. The looks you give him, the way you act around him, everything fell into place. And I couldn't get mad. Jealous, yes, I kind of did like him. But he makes you happy, obviously, you're smiling like an idiot," she said, smiling.

"Vic," he tried again, but once again was cut off.

"Don't Matty. You take care of me. Such good care of me. He is lucky to have you," she said, rising from her seat, heading to her room.

Matt smiled, thankful for the avoided battle. He was getting ready to head to bed himself when Vicki stuck her head out of her room, her sentence causing his stomach to turn.

"Oh, the person I was on the phone with. Tyler Lockwood. Who would have thought he was into dick? Might wanna give him a call."

~(*)~(*)~(*)~(*)~(*)~(*)~

Matt drove up to the Lockwood Mansion, mentally preparing himself for whatever was to come. He knocked on the door, not expecting Tyler to be the on to open the door. They stared at one another, an accusing look in Tyler's eyes and a look of sympathy on Matt's. A silence stood between the two.

"I swear to God, you better treat him right," Tyler said, breaking the silence, a resigned smile.

"I will," Matt said. "I love him."

Tyler shook his head, a little bitterly.

"I know the feeling," Tyler muttered.

Even though it hurt Tyler, he had been there for both of them since he learned about their romance. There were still looks aimed at Jeremy, which Matt ignored (unless too blatant). Tyler and Jeremy still bickered, and Matt could still see a glint in Tyler's eyes, but he was their biggest supporter, and for that Matt was thankful.

~(*)~(*)~(*)~(*)~(*)~(*)~

Jeremy sat at the Donovan table, Matt's practice jersey encasing him a scent that purely Matt. He was lost, deep in thought. Matt noticed that something was off with his lover. Taking the seat directly across from him, he asked him what he was thinking about.

"I think I'm ready to tell Elena and Jenna," Jeremy said, looking Matt in the eyes.

"Are you ready to tell them," Matt asked.

"Yeah, pretty sure. You going to be there with me," Jeremy asked, already knowing the answer.

"Every step of the way," Matt said, reaching out and taking Jeremy's hand. "I love you."

Jeremy smiled, and said, "I love you too."

It was the one of the most perfect moments in either of their lives.


End file.
